Albert J. Palmer
December 22, 1912 - July 3, 2005
I got the call from my mom at 7 am Mesa, Arizona time that Grandpa passed away this morning. I knew when I left Baldwinsville that I wouldn't be seeing him again on this earth. He said that he'd be here when I got back, but I told him that it was okay if he felt it was time. He's with Grandma in heaven now, and that's what matters. As my sister said this morning, he's probably already cooking pies, knowing him.
He had an amazing life. He was born in Oswego, NY, and after his father's death in the middle of the pandemic in 1918 right after Uncle Fred and Uncle Charles were born (Grandpa's twin brothers), his mom (my Mimi) moved her 4 children (Aunt Dorothy was the oldest - we called her Aunt DoDo) to her brother's house in Plainville. She took in washing to make ends meet - the postman even would deliver laundry to her. Uncle Fred would always reminisce that Grandpa took over as father, even at a young age. His favorite memory was Grandpa reading the Christmas story to them out of the book of Luke. Grandpa went to work fairly young, too, and was water boy from about the age of 10 for the crews that built many of the roads in Onondaga County. He was so smart and such a hard worker that he skipped two grades in school. Eventually, he and Aunt Dorothy took a wagon (a sleigh in the winter) to Baldwinsville to attend high school. He almost drowned twice: once while cooling off working on the road crew and - I'll have to check this out - the cook rescued him; the second time was swimming with his cousins Ray and Chuck Lynch in the Seneca River. OH - and his nickname in high school was Buster.
After graduating early from high school, Grandpa went to work at a local gas station - we even have a picture of him in front of the pump. A big thing in Baldwinsville at the time was the street dance - the 4 Corners would be closed off, and they'd have a big party right in the center of town. You could never do that today with all the traffic! His co-worker, Dalt Brooks, had his then girlfriend, the present Mrs. Carl Silfer, meet them at the gas station with a blind date for Grandpa - Aileen Patterson, my grandmother. It was love at first site. Grandma's yearbook motto was "Pleases Al through and through" and her class prophecy said that she would be "Mrs. Al Palmer" - and they were, for almost 67 years. Back then, differences in even one's denomination meant quite a bit - and the Great Depression was in full swing, so my grandparents eloped to get married at the United Methodist Church parsonage, which was then right across the street from the church. I somehow remember being told that Aunt Dorothy had to drive them into the city for some part of it - probably either for the license or for any kind of civil ceremony - under a horrible snowstorm. I understand that Gram Pat (that's Great-Grandma Patterson) didn't speak to them for about 6 weeks.
Oh - I have to note my favorite story from their courtship - and it also tells you of my grandfather's finickiness with food - a trait I'm usually proud to share with him! He went over to the Patterson home for dinner one Sunday, and Grandma's little brother Clarke (he was 9 years younger than she) wouldn't eat his spinach, and was apparently giving Gram Pat a difficult time about it. My grandfather wouldn't ever let on that he hated spinach with a passion, but Gram Pat told Clarke: "Look how big and strong Al is, and he eats his spinach." With perfect timing when telling this story, my grandfather would always quip: "It was the only time in my life I even choked down a plate of spinach." It only proves how much he loved Grandma, in my book.
Grandpa went to work for American Can Company after they were married, and they moved around some. Since he was in a food service industry, Grandpa was exempt from military service in WWII, but both Uncle Fred (Army) and Uncle Charles (Air Force)served overseas, including in D-Day and in The Battle of the Bulge (In case I haven't noted it before, Uncle Fred passed away on the anniversary of The Battle of the Bulge.) Mom came along in 1942, and Aunt Charlene in 1945. After that, the family moved back to Baldwinsville. Both my uncles decided to open a diner after the war, and they hired out a local well known cook. It wasn't too long after that they both decided that a military career was better suited to both of them, and my grandfather took over the diner. Palmer's Diner was known for a long time as "The Hut", as it was built from an old surplus Quonset hut that was on the site of what Baldwinsville residents now know as Radisson. Grandpa also took over cooking duties. The big secret that I didn't know until Grandma passed away was that she and Mimi were the ones that taught Grandpa how to bake pies. The restaurant was open for 24 hours for a while, but I don't remember that being during my lifetime. Somehow, Grandpa still found time for many other activities, as well as building a wonderful life with Grandma - he even did a show with the Baldwinsville Theatre Guild - Arsenic and Old Lace - as the police chief. Wish I could have seen it.
He always told lots of great restaurant stories, and I'll add to this as I remember them.
1. The counter was the preferential place to sit if you were a kid, as Grandpa always gave kids special treatment. One little girl remarked after what surely was a particularly satisfying meal: "I wish Mr. Palmer were my mother!"
2. I have been told (to my slight embarrassment) that a very nice lady came up to me and said: "Oh, what a pretty little girl you are!", to which I replied: "I know!" (In my defense, I was really young at the time).
3. My grandfather was always one for practicality and telling it like it is. One man, who shall remain nameless, was a slightly cantankerous person, and apparently had dealt with my grandfather in the past. I don't recall the entire story, but one day he showed up at the restaurant with his dog - a no-no (and it wasn't a seeing eye dog). Grandpa said: "I'm sorry, but dogs aren't allowed in here." The man apparently gave him quite a bit of guff, to which Grandpa paused (again with his timing!), and finally said: "Well, ok. The dog can stay, but you have to go." (BTW - this is not one of my grandfather's stories, but from a friend that was visiting him in the nursing home this year. It was the first I'd heard it.)
4. Countless stories about health inspectors
5. We'd always enter through the back when we ate there - at least once a week on Fridays for dinner, as my father worked late at the bank (First Trust then, now Key Bank), and would join us after we got done. I remember Jimminy Cricket, best described as a traditional hobo who traveled up and down the East Coast. He always seemed to be there, but apparently worked seasonally. He had a room at the diner, and was always great to us kids. He had a great smile, too. At least twice that I've been told, he caught a buglar. I'm sure Grandpa was grateful to have someone like Jimminy around. It just goes to show that what goes around comes around. We eventually lost track of him. I hope he is being well-taken care of if he is still on this earth. If not, I'm sure he's visiting with Grandpa right now in Heaven.
Other random thoughts and stories:
Grandpa became trustee for the village, and later mayor. He resigned as mayor when a policeman pursued a suspect at a high rate of speed, against the regulations, and Grandpa fired him. There was such a storm of protest, but my grandfather stood by his decision and wouldn't go back on his word because he felt so strongly. Since the controversy still continued, Grandpa stepped down - creating another controversy. He still became Man of the Year in 1961 through the Chamber due to all his good work for the village (now called Volunteer Man/Woman of the Year and is through the Volunteer Center - Grandma got it in the 1980's - I need to check my date, and Mom just got it this year, and Grandpa was so proud!)
Things Grandpa did:
The town had no library until the 1950's. When the villagers decided it was time to have one, it was funded by private donations, rather than through school taxes the way it is now. Grandpa came up with his own fundraiser: donate $5 to the library fund, and you could come and get a cup of coffee and a piece of pie at the diner. $10 would get you a whole pie. Apparently a ton of money was raised :-) I'm sure that he also made pies for the annual Friends of the Library bake sale when the library became funded through public taxes and had an annual budget vote/trustee elections. (This is the way it is now - Mom and I bake stuff now, and I'm a proud member of Friends of the Library, although I'm nowhere near as active as the rest of the family.)
He baked constantly for many charities in town. Even when he was in the diner, he would find time to bake rolls and the like for Meals on Wheels. He'd even work on diabetic creations for the clients that needed that kind of food, and would use Aunt Dorothy for a taste tester, as she went blind from Type I Diabetes around the time that my parents married. She helped him create a good diabetic custard. He also created an apartment for Aunt Dorothy at the house on 11 Salina Street, which is where I remember her. Mimi also lived right across the street. This "new wave" of caring for family at home isn't very new to me - I grew up with it. I remember being with Mom and Grandma Palmer as they helped Mimi with various home activities, and I slept over at Grandma and Grandpa Palmer's the night Mimi passed away and Grandpa was spending the night with her. Due to recent experiences, they must have known, which is why I was asked to spend the night. I have a lot of feelings about that night. Sometimes I blamed myself for that - the way a child thinks - so selfcentered. I know now that I was old enough to help with things that needed to be done, and Grandma probably didn't want to be alone. Mom and Dad had to be with Kate, as she was so young and had kidney problems. I'm glad I could be there for my grandparents. My whole experience with them has really strengthened me
Placeholders follow to extemporize on at a later time:
Dollhouses
Werthers and Nestle's Crunch
Masonic Fish Dinners - taking crates full of fresh pies up the fire escape long after many thought it safe for him to do so. (Mom would always have heart failure every time she heard about it)
Triangle Pie Sale
Ice skating rink in the backyard
Village tree lighting - popcorn and hot cocoa
McHarrie Day
Female Charitable and UMW honorary male member
Arizona "second" honeymoon
Banff and Lake Louise
Sleepovers at Grandma and Grandpa's to give Mom and Dad a break - usually once a week, as I recall. Hmm - everything old is new again. Date nights are the "big thing" to do nowadays. Go figure.
Eggo frozen waffles with brown sugar topping - the only thing I ever knew my grandfather to buy rather than make that's of this nature.
Driving lessons - he was much more patient than my father!
Taking me to flute lessons, orthodontist appointments and the like
Care packages to Fredonia - so big that the RA thought it was a beer keg we were trying to sneak in. (She really enjoyed the cookies!) He also made the refreshments for all my recitals. We'd joke that the only reason people came to my recital was for Grandpa's cookies.
Molasses cookies for Holly Dorsey's wedding - they were her favorite kind that he'd send to Fredonia!
Making meatloaf for Mom and Dad for Christmas with Grandpa. Writing about it now brings back memories of cold, squishy hamburger meat and loaves of white bread with Worcestershire sauce that felt so salty between the fingers.
Sticky, carmelized cinnamon raisin buns, far better than anything you could ever buy!
Bread
Learning to make pie crust
Chicken pot pie (Kate would always put cheesy corn curls in rather than Grandpa's pie crust)
Fish - especially later on, walking across behind Byrne Dairy and through Hudson-Mowins parking lot and across the street to Atlantic Seafood to get fried fish sandwiches. (I'm grateful for my diet that this place does baked fish now - the food is so good here!) If you like fish, you need to go to this place - it's on E. Genesee St in Baldwinsville. Don't forget the macaroni salad and rice pudding!
The trip to Florida to help Grandma and Grandpa clean out Uncle Clarke's trailer. He had epilepsy, and always lived with Gram Pat and Grandpa Tom (that being Tom Patterson, their father. Tom and Bessie Patterson). Uncle Clarke was really sick at the end, so we had a lot of work to do. It was the only time I ever heard my grandparents get frustrated with each other - and, as I recall, it was because Kate and I were being stupid kids, not from any arguement that they were having.
They came up to Big Moose one summer for Aunt Barb and Uncle Doug's 25th wedding anniversary. It was the first time I ever saw my grandfather in a leisure suit rather than a regular suit, and I thought it was the silliest suit I ever saw and said so. I had to be told (by Mom) that it was a leisure suit and the style for the summer. (I don't ever recall him wearing it much after that - sorry, Grandpa!) It did work well for Big Moose, though!
Homemade go-carts with the bottoms of old shopping carts and useable parts from unsalvageable wheelchairs. Their driveway at 11 Salina Street had the perfect slope!
Doughnuts - homemade fried cakes, not the overly sugared stuff that you get commercially nowadays (I sound so old!). There's nothing like a warm, homemade friedcake with a big glass of cider
Halloween visits - many of the neighborhood children remember the popcorn balls he'd hand out. People would bring their kids, remembering the wonderful treats at Grandma and Grandpa's. I'll never forget that last Halloween - we kept Grandma up and had the kids come into the living room if they felt comfortable so she could see them. Grandpa was having enough problems at that point that I recall that he gave out bags of popcorn and Werthers rather than the usual popcorn balls. I shared wonderful memories with several strangers that night. I'm grateful to them for stopping by and sharing their stories.
Helping Grandpa care for Grandma
Tomato soup - the only kind of tomato he'd eat. He'd always make a variety of soups for Grandma at lunch, but he'd always have tomato. Always. Also crackers with cheese or peanut butter. And vanilla waffles for dessert.
Country-Time lemonade mix
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