I wish I wasn't posting - only because of how everything came down with that masterclass. Everyone of career importance was understanding, but my folks flipped and wouldn’t speak to me or my boyfriend, with whom I spent the day before working over the songs I needed to sing. - they said he was the reason I didn’t go, when all he did (all - bad term) was practice his fingers to the bone the night before and all day when we worked to help me work through the pieces with accompaniment so I’d be more relaxed when working with the masterclass accompanist. (who is fantastic, but last minute throw-togethers of art songs for public performance freak me out). I’m finally able to eat again - I didn’t eat at all for days both before and afterwards, which scared me to say the least - I’ve been down that road before and never wanted to go there again. Had a long talk rather than a lesson with the voice teacher too. I never react about opera roles like this - only art songs.

Needless to say, few morning pages got done, I did manage to do an Artist’s Date and take myself for a walk rather than drive the car to a rehearsal for this Sunday’s performance of the“Alleluia” from the “Exultate Jubilate” for a church service. It was the first night the air was cool enough to do that - I ended up walking for an hour and stayed after rehearsal to use the sanctuary to practice. It was so dark, I ended up taking out my nice white sheet music for an aria (thank you Glendower!) and holding it next to me in the twilight so there would be some kind of lighter color for the cars to see as they passed me. (we’re out towards the country).

One bright spot - had my first German language lesson with a resident at my grandfather’s nursing home - she lived most of her life in Germany, has been feeling frustrated at the home and wanted something to do. She’s a wonderful teacher - very patient and kind, and I really feel like I understand certain sounds much better.

Results:
1. I’m going back over a few pertinent chapters in TAW, as well as delving more seriously into The Vein of Gold, on the advice of my teacher - she’s done similar things (the autobiography part), and have found them painful, yet productive.

2. Found someone to go talk to about the eating problem

3. If my Sarasota audition doesn’t produce a job, I’m moving to NYC after my last major gig is over with where I am now (November) - I hate to give up the church gig and outreach program, but living at home with my parents is not healthy for me or my career at this time.

4. Began doing a faith-based quiet time along with the morning pages and in the evening. For me that is Bible study and prayer. What I had been doing was too haphazard to really mean anything. I feel like I’m headed back to my roots, so to speak.

5. I’m going to be able to use the either the sanctuary or chapel for practice when I need to and it’s available. The sanctuary will be especially wonderful, as it is a huge space and not next to my father’s television or in my tiny room at home.

Goals
1. Morning pages/Quiet Time
2. Artist’s Date - out to the local nature center!!
3. Practice at the church as much as possible - focus on the aria package.
4. Keep up the exercise - and walk more. Just because!