Interesting thing with morning pages this week: I was able to go back and read them every few days to mine ideas without actually freaking out like I did last time (and I’ve been avoiding ever since). Which I suppose is a form of self compassion. It felt rather organic, so to speak. Pretty odd, and I didn’t think of it occurring until just now.

Artist’s Date: we are in the middle of our state fair this week, and our outreach group got to perform there again. I hadn’t been on that stage in a long time (it’s used for community theatre the rest of the year), so it felt like a homecoming in a sense. I spent the rest of the afternoon at one of the free concerts, munching a big fruit salad and yogurt on the lawn(the fair has become really healthy lately!). I also broke down and had fried pizza dough - but only one, and that I shared with family that met me later. A far cry from buying a bag and eating 2 or 3 all by myself. I also took some time at the art exhibit and at the 9/11 memorial that was recently installed on the grounds. I’ve never really had the chance to “do the fair” solo (until I met up with the family), so it was kind of nice, but I didn’t intend for it to be an artist’s date - it just ended up being that.

Synchronicity - I guess I was more open to it this week. I’ve been back in contact with friends I haven’t heard from in a while, including some who have offered to “sponsor” me for things like competitions and recordings - hard to accept with the way th self esteem has been lately, but I’m pushing myself to “do the right thing”. I also recieved 2 apps for one of the big YAP’s in the mail - the second copy from the heads of the outreach program saying “We thought you’d be interested in this” - I’ve been hemming and hawing about being ready for the audition, but have decided just to go for it.

Other Issues: The God Jar and a box of “touchstones” (to remind me of the good stuff - photos of the grandparents, a rock from my collection of 5 from our earlier go round, etc) have been helpful. I’ve even taken to wearing a ring my great aunt left me, as she was one of the biggest supporters for my then potential music career. I’m still working through Vein of Gold, and hope to report on that more next week. Some of it is hard to talk about.

Goals:
1. Aria package daily
2. Boheme chorus and Papagena daily
3. review descants for the most popular hymns - choir starts up again (a week from yesterday - yikes!)
4. AW/Vein of Gold and FlyLady tasks (I’ve decluttered about 50 bags of stuff I don’t need - old school papers, cleaned out the closet, etc)
5. get ready for subbing - new flyers and business cards
6. appts/readings